I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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