Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize