He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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