the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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