Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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