I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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