hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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