I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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