Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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