I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
