Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
