naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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