I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize