Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
