I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
cat food counts as protein by the way
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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