just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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