All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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