the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
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Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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