i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
