he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
