some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
