My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
