I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
