I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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