I smell stomach acid.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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