it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
im on a boat
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