so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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