Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
