Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
bring money and cleavage
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
