Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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