Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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