Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
