he thought i was a dude.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
