i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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