So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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