Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
