we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
