So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
