There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
