i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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