So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
