your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
