'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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