Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
