My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
