pop tarts are not kleenex
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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