only if we run a train.
done.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
