I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
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Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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