Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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