Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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