literally had 100 drinks last night.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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