VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize