Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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