absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
