Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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