Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize