As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
