Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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