if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
