if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
