I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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