Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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