people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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